Tag: #ThePuddingCreekTrestle

Dating me #1

I have joked a ton about dating, especially in our little town of Fort Bragg and I would like to set the record straight. The dating pool is not empty or depleted like I (and many others) have shouted. There truly are a great many amazing single women in the area. Yes, it is a small town and because of this the rumors, lies, family beef, friend’s opinions or even the truth gives you pause to try. I say take this year and try something new and break the chains the past holds over you. Always choose the chance at love, as like the song says there is not enough of it in the world, even if you think it may not last forever.

Look I have an image I have portrayed online that, like much of Facebook, it is not quite true. I am going to delve into my thoughts on it today and more in the future. As with everything I write I would be honored if you read it and commented. I am not trying to change anyone’s mind on anything, my goal is for you to open your mind period. Just wait until my political posts start, I will have no fans left on social media.

My two youngest children over the last 15 years since my divorce have only seen me with two members of the opposite sex. The first was many years ago before moving to Ukiah. You could classify this as my last real relationship. Thankfully my children were too young to remember the details. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I didn’t ruin it, but I am happy to see how well she has done since then. The second was an afternoon in Utah when I had to pick my son up because of a scheduling conflict and lasted less than 15 minutes. Strange right? The only other relationship I had was a long-distance one which was as physically pleasing as it was emotionally devastating. It was at least as unhealthy as many of the relationships I hear about from friends today, if not more. I have asked friends to introduce me to people on semi blind meetups, all resemble for lack of a better analogy, a train wreck.

I am attractive, have a dark sense of humor, am articulate and can flourish in any social situation. I am a gentleman; I have an unshakeable positive attitude; I am chivalrous and treat everyone with respect. So why would I keep myself out of the standard dating scene for so long? The first reason is that I did not wonder who was first in my life or where my attention and affection lay, they were. This standard is not for everyone, I won’t ever tell you how to live your life, this was my chosen path, and it is not normal. The second is the drama quotient. I am an empath who HAD a need to fix all the wounded birds out there. The third and last that I will share now is the balance of time versus reward, yes, a bit mercenary, but it allowed me to reach the place of self-awareness I am at today.

Since my children left, I spend 85% of my time alone and if not for my volunteering at the Food Bank, it would be closer to 99%. I truly enjoy my own company. I can cook (some say very well), clean, and even wash my own Cinch 9” underwear without ruining them…. I will never forgive the person that introduced me to them. I communicate with my children frequently, have friends around the world who are reachable in an instant AND the Pudding Creek Trestle to occupy my time. I have transportation, finally, that is reliable. This allows me to travel when and where I wish, so my most basic needs are met. Now comes the big question, what am I looking for?  I am not looking for someone to complete me or to complete someone else. I don’t believe someone who is broken should be in a relationship with me, or honestly with anyone, but that is a post for another day. I would like to meet a person that has a clue about who they are with a life they love (or working to get there).  I miss physical contact, waking up next to someone and not having to go everywhere #HanSolo. I don’t have a preference on whether it is an occasional thing or full time, just that there is honesty with an open line of communication. Maybe this is unrealistic, but I will be fine as I know needs from wants. I have so much more to say, but real life has reared its ugly head. Peace.

Poor Things: A Portent of Change

I took some time on a rainy day to watch ‘Poor Things’ on the advice of a friend whose opinion I value highly. I wanted to attend with an open mind, so I did no prior research save for being told it is a coming of age and empowerment movie from the female perspective. I am intrigued by the entire subject after college courses I have taken, #MeToo, the rulings on Roe V Wade, and my own feelings on the subject. Hopefully from the tone of my review you’ll get a feel of where I stand, otherwise you will just have to follow my blog.

First, I want to say I love this movie! Right from the start it attempts to challenge every one of the world’s preconceived constructs of normality. It is a combination of a Tim Burton production meshed with Frankenstein and the Isle of Dr. Moreau inhabiting a sphere created by Robert Weine (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari). The costumes, the scenery, the dialogue, and the lighting all work in perfect harmony. I have not experienced anything else by the director Yorgos Lanthimos, but if this is how he thinks, I will be a devotee. I was also very impressed by the acting, while the movie contained a ton of special effects, the thespians commanded the screen. Above all Emma Stone was fabulous; I have not seen a better individual performance in as long as I can remember. Her character was the engine for the entire cinematic experience. It began with the painfully disjointed spurts and starts much like the toddler and smoothed out as she learned and experienced life as it has for all of us.

No matter how far we feel society has come, there is a definite double standard in what is acceptable from a man and a woman. This movie attacks those fallacious notions head on beautifully with extreme prejudice. First every man in the movie works hard to control Stone’s character Bella Baxter trying to mold and shape her into an obedient pet. She understands this and uses her wiles and their feelings to get her own way while soaking in all life has to offer. The movie demolishes the convention that women should be monogamous or branded a whore while men have unlimited freedom for indiscretions. Stone’s character extricates herself from the Victorian ideals of the time and takes control of her life with a positivity despite the evils of the world. I am a bit idealistic, but I hope the message from this movie can be a catalyst to release women from the conventional bonds placed upon them by society and level the playing field.

Cancelled:#MeToo

We are bombarded by so many voices focusing on the things that focus on our differences. The powers that be understand that if they chum the waters with their rhetoric, the people will be focused on culture wars rather than watching our freedoms, rights and money being taken away. Keeping the blinders on helps keep the status quo and as long as we remain in this state, things is our country won’t improve and they will stay in power. Much of what I write is based upon this premise and will continue until we once again become a nation ‘of the people, by the people and for the people’ or our duopoly (both Democrats and Republicans) continues our march to the authoritarian right and determine free speech is not appropriate any longer and I am jailed or exiled.

I was astonished at the power of the MeToo movement and how quickly men of the establishment were torn from their ivory towers, glass houses and private islands. Right before our eyes they were tarred and feathered in the media, removed from their jobs with some even ending in court and a few in jail. Women finally had their day in the son and it looked as though there would be a reckoning bringing an end thousands of years of abuse. I believed this would be a step toward true equality and creating a safe and open avenue for women to be able to report the crimes without fear of character assassination. The seed was planted and the roots took, now all that was left was to nurture it and watch it bloom.

The one thing lacking from any of the coverage is the foundation of #MeToo. The media splashed the faces of beautiful, rich, white women across our smart screens and we were all swept away in the passion. We knew these women by name, Thurmann, Judd, Lawrence and Paltrow, familiar from their on screen performances carried the banner and our hearts. Unbeknownst to me and most of America, this was not the start of the movement only the catalyst to push it to the forefront. I won’t get too deep into the roots at the moment, but I challenge you to research it yourself. Learning about the foundation during several college classes helped me alter my major focus to Ethnic Studies and Social Justice. There is still so much to do and I want to be part of the solution.

Much like the ebb and flow of the French Revolution, the MeToo movement changed with the times. 2020 brought us an election season that did nothing but fan the flames of all that divides Americans. Rather than finding a common ground on an issue or in the fact we are human beings, we called each other names; cast out friends and family members for having a different political opinion; and forgot that freedom of thought and ideals are a right for all men. We chose sides and believed every allegation against one candidate while defending the attackers of the other. The same A-listers who carried the MeToo banner so proudly, used their voices to squash, demean and degrade an accuser of the other candidate. The gains made evaporated in an instant and women are back to being afraid to speak out. Leaving this in the hands of politicians, A list stars, corporations or anyone other than the will of the American people pointless.

We are the only ones who can force the change by coming together on issues like this one where the sides are well delineated. Sexual abuse is one where there is no grey area and everyone red and blue can agree on the same definition. This issue needs to be put back into the public eye no matter how much it upsets society. Also please support your local domestic violence support centers with money, time and/or goods.